FAQ Library
Answers that sound official (because we wrote them that way)
We keep the tone polished and the paperwork tidy. The premise is fictional, the formatting is real.
More questions (because we know you have them)
A few extra clarifications, written in the same calm tone your real insurer uses—minus the reality.
Do premiums change if I live closer to the edge?
In our fictional rating model, proximity to the edge may increase premiums due to “gravity uncertainty.” In real life, insurance pricing is regulated and based on real underwriting factors.
Is there a waiting period for “sudden horizon events”?
Yes—our satire includes a 30-day waiting period for events that begin with “I swear it was fine a second ago.” No real coverage exists.
Do you cover accidental “map folding” injuries?
Absolutely. Paper cuts, aggressive creases, and emotionally distressing origami are all “eligible” in our parody universe.
What’s the difference between term and “firmament” life insurance?
Term is coverage for a set period; “firmament” is our joke add-on for people who prefer their policies with a dome-shaped sense of security. (Not a real product.)
Can I bundle with Auto/Home coverage?
You can compare our pretend bundles on Coverage Plans. For real bundling, talk to a licensed insurer.
Where can I read the full parody disclaimer?
See the Legal Disclaimer page. Short version: this site is satire, and nothing here is real insurance.